I am ashamed by my behavior, my lack of trust, and my lack of faith, in the past week. I have realized this, only because God is merciful, and wants me to see my error. He could have allowed me to drown in despair, but rather He deemed it necessary to show me my weakness, and grant me repentance. I have no strength of my own, it is only through Christ that I can do anything. My faith comes from Him, and my repentance is from Him as well. There are those that will say "it is up to you to repent, then God forgives" I doubt they understand the power of God very well. It is God that grants forgiveness, and repentance, as a gift to man. They will say "yes, but you do not have to accept it" my dear friend. Try to deny the next breath that God gives you, as a gift. If God gives you the gift you can not but accept it. It is not a matter of want to, but rather it is a matter of necessity. God has granted me repentance, for my pathetic sulking, and my lack of faith. He not only has done this He has also provided for me, so that I will give Him the glory , and dare not try to claim some glory for myself. He is truly my provider, He has proven Himself faithful, when I have doubted. Oh God, that you be given all the praise from my mouth, is my one desire. And I know that even this desire is wrought only from your works.